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Red Sweatpants Guy Watch

red sweatpants guy

Have you seen an odd looking man wearing red sweatpants? Did this guy butt into your conversation? Maybe you were in a cluster when you saw a man scanning batteries with a computer scanner. You didn't think much of all this then, but you should now. You may have had an encounter with "RED SWEATPANTS GUY!"

Don't worry, we think he is harmless, just very annoying.

Let's Spend Some Time Catching Up

The game is the same, but your host has changed. I've taken over Adam's old Red Sweatpants Guy pages. I guess most of you out there aren't attending CMU anymore, but in case you are, you should email me with your updates.

I would like to bring all of you back to a month most frequently referred to as November of 1999 (and most infrequently referred to as "The month Adam rocked my world"). There are probably lots of memorable things that happened in this specific month, but what I think reporter Brittany Erin Powell will remember it best for is the first time she saw Rspg in The Red Sweatpants. And to make her life just that much better, a week later, she saw him again, yet again wearing The Red Sweatpants. At this point, Brittany Erin Powell (not to be confused with BRITNEY Spears) considered herself the luckiest person in the world - until she was hit by a car. Poor Brittany. But at least she will always have those memories of Rspg in The Red Sweatpants.

Also happening in November of 1999 (has it really been that long?) was this encounter by new reporter Dan Maynes-Aminzade, also known as Monzy (but not also known as '18"-12 Cut Pizza With Cheese and 2 Toppings for only $8.40'). I think it is best put in his words:

I was hanging out at my research lab this afternoon, peacefully playing a game of Minesweeper, when I heard a sudden knock at the door. I turned to face the unexpected visitor, grumbling quietly at the way my concentration had been shattered. Imagine my shock and dismay when I saw none other than the red sweatpants guy, staring back at me with that familiar sheepish grin on his face.

"How can I get into Building Virtual Worlds?" he inquired. "Alice99 is consuming one hundred percent of my CPU! VRML really sucks."

"Err, you'll want to contact Dr. Randy Pausch about getting into that class," Jeff told him. "The information sessions begin in late November, I believe."

"I'm a robotics major," the Red Sweatpants Guy explained. "I destroyed Windows 98, so I replaced it with Windows 2000 Release Candidate 2."

"Um... that's... good," I stammered.

"Should I learn 3D Studio Max?" the Red Sweatpants Guy wondered. "Will I end up in this lab if I take Building Virtual Worlds?"

As this barrage of questions continued, my coworkers and I gradually turned away from the Red Sweatpants Guy. After several minutes had passed, we were completely facing our desks. Perhaps the Red Sweatpants Guy took notice, because he finally said (to our backs) "OK, I have to leave now." Receiving no response, he turned and walked down the hallway.

I think this is a good example of how one should deal with Rspg. If he butts into your conversation or in Monzy's case, hits you with a barrage of questions trying to impress you with his extensive knowledge on...stuff, just walk away. Trying to reason with Rspg is futile, but if you ignore him, he will move on. It may take some time, but he will move on.

January 20, 2000
Rspg kept the next month or so in hiding, maybe he was afraid of Y2K, maybe he was on to us. Either way, Amy Ogan spotted him on January 20th in the least likely of places, a ballroom dancing event:

Thursday night, while several of your group were securely ensconced at the Syracuse basketball game (15-0!!!), I instead decided to take a risk and attend an event sponsered by the Ballroom Dance club. It was an hour of swing dance lessons, followed by a free social swing dancing period. I believed I would be safe, considering I already know how to swing dance... little did I know the danger that lurked ahead. The first hour was entertaining, as I tried to help several geeky CS majors and some random old man (each of whom had approximately 3 left feet) get their groove on to the likes of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. *side note - Brandon arrived on the scene at the termination of the lesson portion* After the ballroom instructors left, however, a new dj took to the mp3-playing laptop. As the participants franticly attempted to swing to horribly-redone golden oldies and several country songs, the dance floor slowly emptied, giving a clear view of the man at the controls - the Red Sweatpants Guy!!! Understandably it was shocking and really rather revolting. Fortunately, by the time he'd been interrupted by angry dancers in the middle of about three songs, he was considered officially removed from his dj job. Although the music improved, it also forced us to watch his attempt at a salsa in his cheesy faux-leather dance shoes.

I think I can speak for all Rsgp watchers/reporters when I say that we are sorry you had to witness this event Amy, but we are more than happy to welcome you to the reporter group. In addition, I would like to say that I greatly appreciate Syracuse University sports references and the use of large, important sounding words like "ensconced" in all posts. Thank you Amy Ogan.

I have a few more posts, but I don't want to overwhelm everyone after it has been so long. Plus, I don't feel like doing anymore posting right now. I'll put the rest up within the next few days. But before I go this time, I do have 2 non-sightings to post.

One is from a man named Daniel Hettinger, yes, THE Daniel Hettinger. He and his friends started a band last year and named themselves "Red Sweatpants." The name is not in honor of our beloved Rspg, but this is very cool anyway. Daniel wanted to let you all know that his band has some songs on Napster, so feel free to check them out. I haven't yet, but I'm sure they are very cool.
The other non-sighting is from a fellow intern at my job this summer. In doing a search on the web, one of the interns found a picture of my ass and sent the link to all of the other interns. Many of them looked at my ass, cried, and refused to look at the computer screen ever again. But one of the interns, Elliott Lee, examined my webpage and found the Rspg sightings page. Immediately he became obsessed, and understandably so. At one of his most obsessed moments, he wrote this email to me:

RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPG RSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPG RSPG RSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRS PGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPGRSPG RSPGRSPGRSPGRSPG

It should also be noted that in the original email, the letters were red. Hopefully Elliott has spread the word about Rspg, and if there are any sightings at NYU or the surrounding area, we will be notified. Thank you Elliott.

Is that who I think it is?

The one in the center is Rspg, and he is wearing The Red Sweatpants. The one on Rspg's right sporting the afro is Steve Laniel. Thanks to a man on the New York subway, Steve has since shaved off the afro and gotten lots of pussy. The remaining man, reporter Dan Szakallas, gets lots of pussy, afro or not.

Reporters:

Brian Cooke
Adam Gerard
Daniel Hettinger
Jaclyn Kelly
Stephen Laniel
Elliott Lee
Nathan Los
Tammy Mansky
Monzy
Amy Ogan
Brandon Paluzzi
Parag Patel
Rob Pierry
Brittany Erin Powell
Gretchen Reinhart
Chris Rugen
Denise Saenz
Sarah Sahni
Jon Sung
Daniel Szakallas
Kristin Weinzierl
Brian Yeung

Look in the archives for old sightings. Although at the rate I'm posting, even the new ones are old.