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wednesday 23-jun-04 10:16 pm
I went to Ocean City for my first time this summer, and didn't have much to do. So I took some notes (on my Palm Pilot, while on the boardwalk -- I guess that makes me a geek, huh?)
First off, pleaded skirts and mini skirts are in. It seemed like every girl I saw (all the young-ish ones anyway) were wearing them.
Another trend I noticed immediately were redneck-looking guys with bead necklaces (think Mardi Gras). I can only guess that their goal was the same as the goal at Mardi Gras....I didn't see anyone having any success.
I saw Jack from Jack and Coke (for those of you that remember them), though I didn't stop to say hi. I probably should have.
The guy with two trumpets is STILL PLAYING. He must really enjoy doing that (or have nothing better to do with his life), because he A) sucks B) gets no crowd, hence C) gets no money.
There was another guy and his friend, who were pretty good. Very charismatic, and pretty good players. When I walked up to them, they were playing Sublime (Santeria) and had an OK-sized crowd. Then they started
playing Crash Into Me, so of course I immediately left. When I came back a little later, they were playing some chords while
this other guy did freestyle rap. He was a good rapper although he went on way, way too long. I always think rap + acoustic guiar - drums of any kind = weird.
Anyway, then this other rapper came up. They were going to battle but then the cops (on fucking horses again!!) and broke everything up.
The highlight, however, was this drumline. There were four guys and they were all banging on pots, pans, and garbage cans, that they had assembled in some kind of convenient fashion.
They were awesome and had a huge crowd. They ended each performance by kicking all their drums together in a pile (I guess you can do that when your drums are really trash cans and pots).
thursday 17-jun-04 5:44 pm
Pray to End Abortion
I was walking around my neighborhood the other day, when I saw something that I think should completely redefine the Pro-Choice movement in America.
What I saw was a bumper sticker which read, "Pray to End Abortion". These four simple words totally revolutionized the way I think the Pro-Choice movement
should operate. "Pray to End Abortion", indeed! In fact, I think all the Pro-Choice folks should work under cover to convince Pro-Lifers that they
should stop fighting abortion through all other means (legal, etc.) and focus ALL of their energy on PRAYING to end abortion. If Pro-Choicers can succeed at this,
then abortion will forever be safe in America for all.
friday 21-may-04 6:10 pm
houseparties
I saw this post under the jobs section on craigslist.org.
I wasn't sure what a "houseparty" was, so I went to their houseparties.
Perhaps they should spend some less time worrying about houseparties, reform, and Bill Moyer, and more time learning English.
Anyway, I digress. Aside from the rambling sentences with words that don't mean anything, the job description on craigslist struck me as particularly funny for
a few reasons:
"Needless to say, with all the fantastic DVD material coming down the pike..." ....um, yeah. Obviously, indeed, this will be pivotal. It's not like they had DVDs in 2000........
"Housepartyware" is not a word, much less an industry. Don't refer to as either....ever.
If a "houseparty" is what I think it is, software can't "generate" it.
tuesday 16-mar-04 5:59 pm
Driver of the Year
I'd like to take a minute to tell you about something I saw last week.
It was so strange that I felt the need to create a crude diagram when I got home to explain what happened. So that's what you see above: My chicken scratch. It was rush hour in Philadelphia, and I was going to my bus stop ("Me" in the diagram) at the corner of 22nd & Market Sts. 22nd runs ONE WAY (South to North) and Market runs TWO WAYS (these are important facts to remember as it turns out). As anyone who lives in Philly can attest, Market St. is one of the main streets in the city. 22nd St. is by no means "free of traffic" for that matter, either. The little boxy things are supposed to be cars. The front of car is denoted by the two circles at the front of each box which are supposed to be front headlights.
When I arrived at the bus stop, I saw Stage 1 in the diagram. A car was attempting to turn left onto Market St. But it had turned into the wrong lane. It had not collided with anything, but it was now stopped, face to face with oncoming traffic. The car, apparently realizing its error, had its reverse lights on already. When I arrived the light for 22nd St. was green, so traffic was driving behind the car, and so the car was unable to move. Eventually the light for 22nd turned back to red.
Then the car moved to Stage 2 on the diagram. It had reversed on to 22nd St., now facing the correct direction of traffic. Watching in interest, I thought to myself, "Ok. Now he will either turn on to Market the correct way, or possibly stay on 22nd and go straight through Market." But he did neither of these things.
The car then proceeded immediately on to Stage 3. That is to say, with the light on 22nd Street still red, he continued in reverse down 22nd St.. After a bit of this, cars (travelling in the correct direction, mind you) were coming up behind the car in reverse. One car, stuck directly behind him, honked at the still reversing car. For the only moment during the entire episode, I thought I knew what he was thinking: "I've got to get out of this guys way." This he surely did, by continuing in reverse up on to the sidewalk on the far side of the street (Stage 3 on the diagram). I watched in surprise and wonderment as the car sat on the sidewalk. By now the light for 22nd was again green, and traffic was flowing in a normal manner. That was until ....
Stage 4, when the light turned red and the driver ventured back into the street, while still in reverse. Perhaps hoping to avoid the hassle of having to get out of the way for stupid cars travelling in the correct direction on the road, he moved backwards at a much faster pace this time than during Stage 3.
By Stage 5, the driver had reached his destination (on the opposite side of the road from where he "rested" during Stage 3). He sat in his car for a minute or two -- clearly exhausted from all the driving in reverse during rush hour in a major city. I watched, wondering, "Where is he going to go next? How far down 22nd St. will he go?" But there would be no more reverse driving for our very special friend today. Eventually the driver got out of the car and non-chalantly walked into the apartment that he was now parked in front of -- a few hundred yards from when I first saw him, facing oncoming traffic on Market St.
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