voodoochild.org

monday 07-jul-03 6:06 pm

It's more likely that I will be killed by a panda-induced typhoon while driving through Nebraska, but in case the driver of the silver Honda behind me on the PA Turnpike last night is reading this: Flashing your high-beams at me for 15 minutes didn't make me go any faster, did it? That's because there were eight cars in front of me. Believe me, I wanted to go just as fast as you did, asshole.

I write to you today having returned from my first visit to Ocean City for the summer. Here are the things that I have learned from this trip:

• Waterman's is not nearly as frigid on the bottom floor as on the top floor.
• If you're not sure you're seeing the grand finale of a fireworks show, you're definitely not seeing it. You will know when you are.
• Jameson's whiskey goes with almost anything.
• The white trash in Ocean City is constant, yet amusing. This is not new, but it bears repeating.

Pictures will follow.

saturday 07-jun-03 1:59 am

strange days

Here's two things I can't explain:

1. Yesterday, there was a guy (hereafter refered to as "Guy A") standing at my bus stop, reading the newspaper. Sitting on the bench next to him was another guy ("Guy B"). The two had obviously been talking before I arrived. When I got there, I saw Guy A hand Guy B a sheet of his newspaper. Guy B, reluctantly took the newspaper and started to put it underneath his feet when he was interrupted by Guy A. "No, no, don't do that." said Guy A. "Take the newspaper and spit on it." Guy B was first stupified, then outraged. "What the fuck do you mean spit on it?!? You don't know who the fuck I am! You don't know me, and I don't know you, and here you are telling me to spit on newspaper!" This continued until the bus arrived several minutes later. I'd really like to know what they were talking about before I arrived that prompted the response, "Here, spit on this piece of newspaper."

2. Last November, my employer purchased a Secure ID card so that I could access their corporate networks from home. Working in a large corporation, I can't just go out and buy these things myself. I submit an equipment request, which is approved by my boss, and sent out to our purchasing department. All of this I did. I received the card last December. Yesterday, my equipment request was returned to me from the purchasing department with a note explaining that some of the information I had entered was incorrect. At the point where the card has already been purchased, received, and used for seven months, isn't a little late to be finding this out now? What happens if I don't correct the information? And what the fuck have these people in the purchasing department been doing for the last seven months?

saturday 31-may-03 7:48 pm

An Open Letter to 105.9 The X

Dear X,

I write to you as a listener of your radio station. For years, I have turned to Pittsburgh's 105.9 The X as my source for cutting edge hard-rock and "alternative" music. The X seems proud to always promote "New Music" (said by that guy with cool deep voice -- you know the guy) from the latest bands on the scene. Everytime I hear your promotion for "new music", I get all excited, like a puppy whose owner has returned home from a long day at work. However, recently I have had grave concerns about the future of our relationship as radio station and listener.

Last October, I listened as you premiered Cochise, the debut single from Audioslave. For weeks, I listened to the song over and over advertised by you as "new music", presumably since their album had not yet been released. It was a great song, and I was glad to hear it before the album was released. By Februrary, the second single, "Like A Stone" from the album (now three months old) began airing. And how! I do not consider myself to be an avid radio listener by any means, yet I couldn't listen to The X without hearing "Like A Stone" during any given hour.

Don't get me wrong -- I can understand the affinity for the song. Its' 5 note melody is simple, yet catchy. Tom Morello's guitar solo that sounds like a monkey at the zoo being castrated. Who can't love it? But this is not the first time I've seen this either. Songs by Queens of the Stone Age and Foo Fighters have gone well into their second half-year before you removed the "New Music" label.

Tomorrow is June 1. You have not only been playing Like a Stone for quite some time now, but you have continuly advertising it as "NEW MUSIC" -- even just today. Like always, I heard your promo ("NEW MUSIC!"), got all excited (like the puppy -- see above), and then was let down when Like A Stone came on. The song is three and a half months old. Audioslave's album has been on store shelves for 194 days (that's 279,360 minutes for those of your keeping score at home). During this time, we have seen a national tragedy in space and the fall of Baghdad to a tyrant who ruled for twenty years. It's time to let go of the "New Music" label for Like A Stone, and perhaps for Audioslave in general. If not, what will be next? The next time I hear Seven Mary Three's Cumbersome, should I expect that that, too, will be advertised as "New Music"?

My preference would be for you to stop playing "Like A Stone" altogether. I already own the album. I can hear the song whenever I like. But if you must play it, please stop advertising it as "new music". Let's leave that label for songs that at least have been released in recent memory.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Listener
Pittsburgh, PA